Articles

Today’s Future Now – Smart Technology: The Daily Show

August 13, 2019


It’s time to check in on news
from the tech world
with Ronny Chieng
in Today’s Future Now.
♪ ♪
Thanks, Trevor. Got a lot
of stupid tech bull(bleep)
to show you today,
so let’s get into it.
Everyone’s been talking
about virtual reality,
augmented reality,
and whatever hellish reality
we’re stuck in now.
So you’ve probably already seen
the season’s biggest seller,
robotic protest arms,
for millennials who want
to participate in democracy
but don’t want to look up
from their phone.
But, by far,
the biggest tech trend this year
is connecting as much
stupid garbage as you can
to the Internet.
From smart fridges to drones,
artificial intelligence
has been added to everything.
REPORTER:
The hands-free Willow
is the first smart
wearable breast pump.
REPORTER 2: Samsung unveiled
a refrigerator you can talk to.
REPORTER 3: The company’s trying
to make brushing teeth more fun
for kids by turning it
into a video game.
The handle fits
on your manual toothbrush
and connects to a smartphone
or tablet,
turning your toothbrush
into a gaming controller.
If that toothbrush was so smart,
it would tell that woman,
“Hey, your teeth
are inside your mouth.”
Right?
And I know for a fact
smart things are not gonna make
my life easier.
It’s just another thing
for my mom to call me angry
and confused about. Right?
“No, Mom, I don’t know the
password to your vacuum cleaner,
“all right? Just…
You-you entered the password.
You know what, just move
to a cleaner house, all right?”
Look, just because
you can make something smart
doesn’t mean you should.
REPORTER: This product
getting a lot of buzz,
the smart brush.
Sensors in the brush
count strokes,
measure force,
and even includes a microphone
that listens for hair breakage.
REPORTER 2: We can tell
how you’re using it
and, by the sound, if you’re
breaking or damaging your hair,
and prompt you
to use different products
and to change the way
you move the brush.
If you’re taking advice
from a hairbrush,
guess what,
you don’t deserve hair.
You know what else can tell you
your hair sucks?
A mirror, okay?
Mirrors are great.
You can use them to psych
yourself up before a date,
you can use them to cheer
yourself up after a date.
And if you say “Bloody Mary”
three times,
you can summon Kellyanne Conway.
(laughter, applause)
Yeah. Why are we so desperate
to interact with appliances?
Relationships are hard enough
without my girlfriend
comparing me to the dishwasher,
right?
Oh, it does dishes
and is a good listener?
Well, no one can compete
with that.
You don’t have to be Einstein
to know
that making everything smart
is gonna have
some unintended consequences.
That’s a little boy asking
Amazon’s Alexa to play a game.
He’s asking to play a game, but
she misinterprets his request
and instead thinks
that he wants to listen to porn.
WOMAN: Bobby, can you tell it
to play “Wheels on the Bus”?
-No, no, no! No! Pause!
-BOY: No! -MAN: No!
Alexa, stop!
No, Alexa, don’t stop.
Don’t stop. Keep going.
What the hell is
pussy anal dildo ringtone?
And how can I get it
on my phone?
And, by the way,
don’t blame Alexa
for talking dirty, all right?
She learned those words
from somebody.
So blame whoever was jacking off
to the audio porn
on the family Amazon Echo.
That’s a communal Echo.
But the biggest problem
with connecting things
to the Internet is that they’re
connected to the Internet.
REPORTER: The devices
that can make your home smarter
can also unlock the door
for hackers.
When you see something that is
billed as Internet-connected–
be it a car, you know, a home,
a light switch, whatever–
just remember
that that also potentially means
hacker-connected.
If you’re not careful,
your-your devices can be used
to spy on you.
That’s right.
You want a smart toaster?
Well, I hope you like
getting your toast burned
in the shape of Vladimir Putin,
all right?
Because that’s what’s
gonna happen.
Now, if you’ll excuse me,
I got a three-way planned with
a washer and a dryer, all right?
They get clothes clean
but, hey, they nasty.
(clicks tongue)
Trevor?
Thanks. Ronny Chieng.
Ronny Chieng, everybody.
-We’ll be right back.
-(cheering and applause)

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100 Comments

  • Reply Larrysbride April 12, 2017 at 4:27 pm

    "If you listen to a hairbrush, guess what – you don't deserve hair" 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

  • Reply Mr. Candid April 12, 2017 at 4:40 pm

    Can someone please send me a link of Noah talking about the Syrian air strikes.

  • Reply immortalis1001 April 12, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    Well, best Alexa commercial ever…about to order now.

  • Reply Trailblazer Lazer Razer :D April 12, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    Okay now I'm afraid for the future. Like Skynet doesn't need robo-drones and an army of robot soldiers the refrigerator, hairbrush and dishwasher can kill you very easily lmao.

  • Reply S Singh April 12, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    This was just awesome.

  • Reply Josh Jonas April 12, 2017 at 6:49 pm

    Shadowrun is now, chummer

  • Reply daisyyy2000 April 12, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    Ok Daily Show. Here is what you need to do, stop making fun of positive parts of society, for example instead of mocking innovators and inventors how about you encourage them??? Also, how about you use your satire to highlight important issues of our time that are overlooked? Don't be like the rest of the mainstream media, like John Stewart did before , you should talk about issues that other media outlets don't want to talk about. Be brave and you will in turn be successful. Unless you too have sponsors that you need to please and a political agenda thats not in favor of the people, then whatever.

  • Reply Cockney John April 12, 2017 at 6:55 pm

    What is a "Millenial"?

  • Reply Emio Tomeoni April 12, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    what is that click snap wink at the end..HA!

  • Reply Kremlin Bot#33 April 12, 2017 at 7:17 pm

    I'd totally watch Chieng's own show, who is with me? =P

  • Reply peda mbr April 12, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    still nothing about trump attacking syria?

  • Reply Denise DeStefanis April 12, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    hysterical!!! love this guy and his accent!

  • Reply Killadactyl April 12, 2017 at 8:02 pm

    "Your scientists were all so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

  • Reply laft D April 12, 2017 at 9:06 pm

    "If you're taking advice from a hair brush, you don't deserve hair" is quite possibly the best line I've ever heard

  • Reply Echman April 12, 2017 at 9:25 pm

    Kek

  • Reply DaaaahWhoosh April 12, 2017 at 9:51 pm

    The technology that makes me the most sad is the button to start your car. I just want to put the key in and turn. I want it to feel like I'm doing some of the work. And damn it, I don't want to accidentally leave my keys in the cupholder!

  • Reply Theo The Great April 12, 2017 at 9:59 pm

    I mean if the smart dishwasher can load itself, that's worth it if a few children hear Amazon echo porn XD

  • Reply Casatropic April 12, 2017 at 11:39 pm

    well we already have microwaves turning into camera's so this doesn't surprise me

  • Reply headoverheels88 April 12, 2017 at 11:47 pm

    That porn kid got so scared from the parents! Awww..

  • Reply Max Steel April 12, 2017 at 11:57 pm

    who needs a childhood when you can have porn?
    anal ringtone? I think I just came up with a crazy-frog remix.

  • Reply sEEk-Oreo April 13, 2017 at 12:14 am

    Technology makes people dumber and lazier. It is good, in some ways, but when we get to the point that it does everything for us, well, that's when you become dumber and lazier.

  • Reply Kyle W April 13, 2017 at 1:03 am

    Runny Chang is not funny.

  • Reply AndreaDance April 13, 2017 at 1:05 am

    I love Ronny Chieng!

  • Reply john smith April 13, 2017 at 2:06 am

    this was just not funny

  • Reply LittleDurv2007 April 13, 2017 at 2:26 am

    the icon is a smart condom

  • Reply Nacho Chips April 13, 2017 at 3:24 am

    goof stuff hah

  • Reply Fatima Mendez April 13, 2017 at 5:25 am

    Love ❤

  • Reply Admiralty86 April 13, 2017 at 9:35 am

    This is what happens when you lock employees in a room and tell them they can't go home until they come up with something new.

  • Reply Adrian metzler-holden April 13, 2017 at 9:41 am

    Con way joke was niiiiice

  • Reply J. BB April 13, 2017 at 11:28 am

    hahaha pretty funny

  • Reply Pwrinkle Johnson April 13, 2017 at 12:12 pm

    Apparently living in today's world is so hard we have to have everything as easy as possible with gadgets. Yet we still complain. Isn't that something children do?

  • Reply Maureen McLean April 13, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    Funny guy.

  • Reply Elijah O'Dell April 13, 2017 at 6:47 pm

    LMFAO this guy is so fucking funny

  • Reply jekyll April 13, 2017 at 8:47 pm

    this just reminds me how much i miss john stewart….

  • Reply Andres Hinkey April 14, 2017 at 2:20 am

    is this really new? I watched this before weeks ago.

  • Reply sarcastic bowl of cornflakes April 14, 2017 at 9:12 am

    "If you're not careful, your devices can be used to spy on you"
    If it's internet-connected, it really doesn't meaningfully matter even if you are careful.

    There are people whose entire 9-5 job is about keeping hackers out of particular networks. But even they will tell you it's not a matter of whether they'll get hacked, it's a matter of when. They're job is to push off the hack date as far as they possibly can (even bearing in mind that a lot of the variables are beyond their control), and then quickly discover and mitigate when an attack is taking place.

    If it's internet-connected and it has input components (microphone, camera, etc.), it can be used to spy on you.

  • Reply Etheoma April 14, 2017 at 11:57 am

    DOOM, the new reality.

  • Reply Timothy Chan April 14, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Is it me or are most videos Ronny's featured in, all about rants.

  • Reply Marina E April 14, 2017 at 3:24 pm

    I just love Ronny Chang (don't know how to spell his name), he's my favourite of the show. I can so relate to his constant angry ranting about people's stupidity 😀

  • Reply Rhett Wampler April 14, 2017 at 4:37 pm

    The hair brush prompts you to use different products. You just paid them to advertise to you.

  • Reply Mamelodi Marakalala April 14, 2017 at 6:35 pm

    "Relationships are hard enough without my girlfriend comparing me to the dishwasher." LMAO I'm done!!

  • Reply iPerez April 14, 2017 at 8:45 pm

    I love this guy

  • Reply Richard Abeysinghe April 14, 2017 at 8:52 pm

    Pussy Anal Dildo Ringtone!?? WTF is that?

  • Reply Dawn masoetsa April 15, 2017 at 4:01 am

    Love him,,and the fact that he has an accent make me love him even more at ha shows that people w/o aren't limited. Lol. I miss Trevor but he is probably somewhere enjoying Easter

  • Reply Cw April 15, 2017 at 9:51 am

    This is fucking awful and we all know it.

  • Reply Adoreablekelly April 15, 2017 at 1:20 pm

    Bloody mary 3 times to your mirror and you get Kellyanne Conwway.
    Ronny Chieng you naild it. That line was gold))

  • Reply Anuj Sinha April 16, 2017 at 3:22 am

    Ronnie's awesome!!

  • Reply Vilém Nájemník April 16, 2017 at 12:06 pm

    Ronny is awessome

  • Reply Hong Fei Bai April 16, 2017 at 5:15 pm

    What track introduced Ronny?

  • Reply Hong Fei Bai April 16, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    In Soviet Russia, toasters spy on youuuu…

  • Reply Kuro Kiri April 16, 2017 at 6:21 pm

    being in technology, this is the stupidest thing I've seen. IoT is the next big thing, which includes a lot of data collection and analytics. The more devices that communicate to each the other, the easier it is to stay safe, especially on the road. And yea, hackers can get into these these, but how many hackers are there compared to just normal thieves who break into houses? There's a reason why companies have their own hackers to hack products to test security breaches. Hacking is not that easy.

    Also, that alexa thing was totally set up. Someone made "digger, digger" the trigger word for that soundtrack.

  • Reply Siddharth Abimanyu April 16, 2017 at 7:58 pm

    so… When he says echo… he actually says account😅😂

  • Reply Brendon Tan April 17, 2017 at 7:00 am

    Can someone here Google 'Pussy Anal Dildo ringtone'?

  • Reply Mary L Salaga April 17, 2017 at 6:33 pm

    what days do you play full episodes and what time plz

  • Reply michael imstable April 18, 2017 at 4:01 am

    how about a smart sofa that throws you off and says please use the bed michael.

  • Reply ausfi April 18, 2017 at 7:00 am

    Sorry, Trevor, no use clicking on the photos, I just get "Not available in your location", arggghh

  • Reply Ryan Joyce April 18, 2017 at 2:45 pm

    Oh my god. In a couple years Kellyanne Conway will be right about something.

  • Reply Mathew Flowers April 18, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    Oh the IIoT… Issue is most of these devices don't have great security and if they get hacked, that is a new path for a hacker to compromise the rest of your network. Everyone has flat networks without any FW or security between devices and many people don't even know have to secure Wi-Fi. It's going to become an issue sooner rather than latter.

  • Reply Peter Marquez April 23, 2017 at 10:40 pm

    Nick mason

  • Reply Edris April 23, 2017 at 11:46 pm

    Smart tech, used by stupid people for stupid bullshit.

  • Reply Michael Donald Pietrzak April 25, 2017 at 3:11 pm

    they nasty

  • Reply Niceness_of_Gemini May 24, 2017 at 12:44 am

    pussy anal dildo ringtone.

  • Reply B May 30, 2017 at 10:55 am

    More Ronny pls!!

  • Reply BXGUY73 June 16, 2017 at 4:37 am

    Now they can spy on you through your hair brush and eye lash brush. Spying made simple. "SAD." LOL!

  • Reply Jules November 8, 2017 at 12:40 am

    Damn I didn't realize how much this show sucks

  • Reply Bob Rolander December 18, 2017 at 3:39 am

    Black Mirror is becoming a nightmare come true…

  • Reply watch my vidz page its music December 27, 2017 at 4:45 am

    Washer dryer fuck complete

  • Reply Fred Sancho December 28, 2017 at 8:28 am

    This Chinese guy is hirarious!!

  • Reply titatatuta December 28, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    If you are taking advice from a hair brush.. You don't need hair 🤣🤣🤣……too good

  • Reply Nymeria Kayvee December 29, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    Alexa Stop!!

  • Reply Azlan Diaz January 8, 2018 at 8:16 pm

    lol whats next we're gonna have a vigilante hacker like watch dogs on the loose XD

  • Reply Jace Cavacini January 11, 2018 at 6:56 am

    I am a technology person… who hates technology… i love this segment.

  • Reply rashdan 97 February 8, 2018 at 9:47 am

    Future sucks

  • Reply The Brown Nomad February 28, 2018 at 12:54 pm

    He sounds like an annoyed Chinese mom.

  • Reply skina skino April 25, 2018 at 1:07 pm

    hahaha.. funny man

  • Reply Rob C June 12, 2018 at 4:47 pm

    Ronny is the best. LMAO

  • Reply zari m July 14, 2018 at 6:05 pm

    Ronnie Chang is awesome! More Ronnie Chang please, DS.

  • Reply Sara Burke August 24, 2018 at 9:04 pm

    the kelley anne Conway comment…so good.

  • Reply Sara Burke August 24, 2018 at 9:16 pm

    the way to avoid fear about private info being used against you is just to be unashamed of it, thereby removing the power (obviously excluding illegal activity). so if someone finds pics of me and my ex, I would just shrug and say "ok, you looked at that, so what? everyone has sex and I was in a relationship doing what the whole world does in relationships." Yes, of course on an inner level it is "embarrassing" and we don't want people we know to see us in intimate situations, especially anatomical parts of us that we sort of treasure or only share with "special" people, however, ask yourself: is it embarrassing becuase you did something wrong? Unless you broke the law, the answer is: no, it's embarrassing becuase society tells you it is and therefore, you react that way, giving society power. the point is that denial and shame amplify the situation. honesty, humor and even a little blissful ignorance totally kill trolls and people who want to take power from you with these things. look at obama. right when he got elected he published a biography admitting to drug use. out of all the bullshit people sad about him for all those years, did anyone use his factual drug usa against him, ever? NO!!! becuase they knew it had no power over him, he'd admitted it and moved on. he deflated any possibilty of trolling. meanwhile, clinton had attempted to deny and deflect about marijuana use which totally blew up in his face. honestly I'm more embarrassed for the people who think bodies and sex and minor drug use is so shameful in the first place…i'm sort of sorry for them since clearly thier lives are really boring or they are living by really harsh puritanicle rules that limit their experiences as human beings.

  • Reply Beee EZ August 30, 2018 at 9:17 pm

    A smart toilet that can tell you what you're missing in your diet.

  • Reply Jerminator 356 August 31, 2018 at 2:03 pm

    Ronnie needs his own show

  • Reply John Waters, Jr. September 2, 2018 at 8:13 am

    That kid with Alexa story was so funny and reminded me of when, as a young news reporter I bought my first laptop and I typed in the address bar, ‘whitehouse.com’ expecting to reach the White House website, but the address was to a porn accessories website!

  • Reply septiady gozali September 27, 2018 at 1:53 pm

    Ronny Chieng is so funny

  • Reply Aakanksha Dimri November 20, 2018 at 7:45 am

    Contouring snap by Trevor at end Precious

  • Reply Destrudo Alexandros December 14, 2018 at 10:50 pm

    FEED THE BRAIN FEED FEED FEED IT BLOOOOWOWOWOW CUT MY NOSE OFF

  • Reply jack Borne December 16, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    Pussy, anal, dildo ringtone. What the FUUUUCKKK

  • Reply Appleboy78165 January 16, 2019 at 7:03 pm

    Wait a minute. Was that an iMac G3 on the desk in the Echo segment?

  • Reply Omar Farique April 15, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    Don't use music

  • Reply FIJI GOT TALENT CHANNEL April 21, 2019 at 11:44 am

    can be hacked

  • Reply Sooki Yakima April 26, 2019 at 7:36 am

    I need more Ronny Chieng

  • Reply Jody Fortuin May 11, 2019 at 10:35 pm

    Artificial Intelligence will be the death of this world, thankfully it will start with the first world

  • Reply chi jiggy May 12, 2019 at 6:42 am

    im black as tar but jus give ronny the show way funnier than ths noah guy

  • Reply Asim M kashmiri May 20, 2019 at 5:15 am

    This Guy is hilarious 😂

  • Reply mounika kulkarni June 9, 2019 at 2:41 pm

    "It does dishes and is a good listener" 😂😂😂 oh my God, Ronny is so underrated!! He deserves more recognition!

  • Reply Zer0 Moh June 17, 2019 at 1:51 am

    Everything around us are getting smart. I wonder what that says to the ones using them.

  • Reply Malissa Rivers June 22, 2019 at 1:03 pm

    A wearable hands free breast pump no

  • Reply Francis Leon June 22, 2019 at 4:42 pm

    Alexa😁😁😂😁😀

  • Reply Khadim Muthra July 5, 2019 at 3:48 pm

    Hackers: yes give us the power please

  • Reply logichip August 3, 2019 at 9:43 am

    You don't deserve hair 😭😭😭

  • Reply Alvin Fadul August 6, 2019 at 4:56 pm

    Its funny bec he has point

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